The good and the sad.....

Well the news we got on Monday was not what we were expecting since I didn't have any spotting, cramping or bleeding. We really thought we had beat the odds. But that wasn't God's plan for us. Baby A has "vanished", well not really completely, the sac is still there but there isn't a heartbeat.....Vanishing Twin Syndrome. To say we were devastated is an understatement, but the silver lining is Baby B is big, fat and healthy! My little peanut is measuring 2 days ahead of schedule and had a heart beat of a strong 178! I was released from the RE to go to my regular OB and I was told I am now just a "normal" pregnant woman! Wow that was amazing. It has really been a difficult week. I can't even begin to explain my feelings expect to say I feel guilty for being happy for my remaining miracle baby and I feel guilty for being sad for my miracle in heaven. I know with time it will get better and I am doing my best to focus on my growing miracle. One of the hardest things is looking at the pics of our miracle from Monday because they all show the empty sac. I know that God has a plan and this is his plan for us. So as Chris said, "our miracle will always have a very special guardian angel watching over it." And that thought really does make me smile even if I have a tear in my eye. I wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and thoughts, they truely mean the world to me. Please continue to pray for our little miracle still growing and please say a little prayer for my angel in heaven. Thanks again to everyone! I go to the Dr on Nov 1st, but I will try to update between now and then. God Bless each and everyone of you!

What does it mean when......

10 home pregnancy tests are positive (started taking daily starting 9/12),
3 blood tests are positive (9/17, 9/20, 10/4),
you have food aversions (the smell of coffee, buttered popcorn & peanut butter send me straight to the bathroom in less than 2 seconds!)
you have morning sickness
you have growing boobs
you are peeing every 30 minutes
and today you have an ultrasound........

It means.......I am definitely pregnant and its TWINS! (As of today I am 6wks 6days)

That's the great news and the news I have been waiting 12 long years to hear and I couldn't be more happy. Baby B is very strong and healthy right now with a heart beat of 138. Baby A is a little behind right now and not measuring as big as baby B, Baby A's heart beat is only 89. Right now they want them to be at least 100 so Baby A is a bit behind. Please say a prayer for our little peanuts especially Peanut A. The Dr is confindent in Baby B but said anything could happen with Baby A. I go back to the Dr on 10/18 in two weeks and hopefully baby A will have grown and caught up with Baby B. I can't tell you the feeling we felt today not only seeing but hearing 2 tiny heart beats. To say the tears were flowing is an understatement. I am completely in love with these little peanuts that I have prayed so many years for. I know that God has a plan so I am putting it in his hands and sending him tons of prayers so that both babies grow strong and healthy.

I promise to update soon, I just wanted to wait to the make the announcement on here until I had the first ultrasound.

Thanks to everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers these last few months. We greatly appreciate everything.

God Bless!