Hormones & Emotions

Let me start by updating my numbers and letting you know what the schedule appears to be.

Wednesday -
18 follicles measuring over 10
7 follicles measuring over 9 but below 10
Estradil - 1068
Instructions - No change keep everything the same but starting the Ganerelix injection and we will see you on Friday.

Friday -
24 follicles measuring over 10
8 measuring over 9 but below 10
Estradil - 2478
Instructions - decrease Follistim to 150 from 225 and keep everything else the same. We will see you on Sat and will probably do the harvest on Mon or Tues at latest.

Saturday -
29 follicles measuring over 10
7 measuring over 9 but below 10
Estradil - 2750
Instructions - Keep all meds the same and we will see you on Monday. Harvest will now be on Wed.

So the above is a summary of my Dr visits and where we stand on numbers. I go back to the Dr tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and more blood and the expectation is that we will stop the Follistim & Menopur tomorrow, continue the Ganerelix and take the trigger shot Orvadril with harvest being Wed morning.

So when I left the Dr on Friday I was pumped because harvest was expected to be Mon or Tues which meant implant would fall over Labor Day weekend and would give me one or two days rest before going back to work. Now I was extremely uncomfortable and starting to walk funny and not be able to bend over much because my ovaries are so enlarged but everything was happening on the schedule I was hoping for. So Saturday rolls around and my dear friend Angie was asked to speak at the annual Labor Day March of Dimes/Texas Women's Hospital Luncheon and Fashion Show and she had invited me to go. So I was super happy to be going and having a girls day and being there to support her. So we got up Saturday morning and off to the Dr we went. We we got our numbers we were blown away of course we were waiting on the blood work with the Estradil numbers and the nurse was set to call me that afternoon but she said I expect you will be taking the trigger shot tonight and that the harvest will be on Monday or the trigger will be Sunday and the harvest will be on Tuesday. So back home we went, I changed clothes (changed about 4 times before I found something comfortable enough to wear - my midsection is swelling and I look pregnant so clothes are getting difficult), Angie picked me up and we were off for a fun girls day. We got to the hotel and Angie looked amazing and she was nervous but we mingled around and met the other girls she invited suddenly my phone rang. I looked at Angie and Jamie and said I am stepping out this is the Dr. I was so excited and then I got the news.....keep everything the same do NOT take the trigger shot and we will see you on Monday. (I had already made an appt just in case earlier in the week when they thought harvest would be delayed 2 days) Dr Dunn feels its best to do the harvest on Wed! I was crushed and more crushed than I really realized. Everyone including Angie (who I call my personal IVF guru and expert) all thought harvest would be Monday with the number of follicles I had already. With tears in my eyes I told them it would be Wed. Now one of the reasons this got to me is that the implant will be on Monday, Labor Day and I have to go to work that Tuesday for a project I cannot miss. My plan has always been to have two days of rest after the implant and well this is not what is meant to be. I am really not sure what happened to me on Saturday but I was with an awesome group of girls and supporting Angie meant so much to me that I did my best to push the news out of my head. So I did for a few hours anyways. Angie made her speech and there wasn't a dry eye in the whole place! She did amazing and I am truly blessed to have her in my life and call her my friend. She really is one of the strongest women I know. And being the great friend she is, she kept making sure I was OK on Sat which she didn't have to do since this was her day, but that is the great person and friend she is. My other friend Jamie who was there was just the same and both did everything they could to try to keep my mind off of things and to try to get me to relax as much as possible despite the discomfort and down right pain I am now feeling constantly. So after show was over the 3 of us headed home after a quick treat at Starbucks. The girls dropped me off and told me to keep smiling that everything was in God's hands and this is what is meant to be. Now I know this in my head, but apparently it wasn't really clicking. Chris opened the door to the house I walked in and immediately fell apart. To say that I took Chris off guard was an understatement. He was in shock that I was literally falling apart. I cried and cried and cried and I am trying to explain what I am feeling but I can't really speak because of the tears and sobbing and well it was a rough several hours. To say that a great day turned into the worst day yet in this whole process is an understatement. I finally got myself under control and Chris took me to dinner. Was I fine? No. But I managed. The smallest things had me crying all night. At this point I think the perfect storm happened in my mind and with my hormones on Sat between the pain, the news of harvest being pushed back, being at a March of Dimes event surrounded by pregnant women and lots of baby stuff... How am I feeling now? Well I am ready to get these follicles/eggs out. The Inn is full and there isn't anymore room. I am extremely uncomfortable and it gets worse everyday and sometimes I am in down right pain. Mentally how am I? Well today I am better. Not great, but better. I still have a few crying moments here and there but I know that the Dr knows best and I know that God is in control not me. Do I like that I am not in control? No but somehow some way I have to give the control up (hummmm wonder where I get the control issues from.....my mom...LOL). So that is my focus right now....giving it to God and knowing that he will take me through this adventure. Do I regret making the decision to have IVF? NO WAY! Am I tired? ABSOLUTELY physically and mentally and I am more than ready for the harvest to take place. So with all of that being said, please say a prayer for us. I will update after tomorrow's appointment or after harvest depending on how I am feeling both days. Tomorrow I am going for a much needed massage and tomorrow I have a very busy day at work. So I am expecting tomorrow to be much better.

Until next time Blessings to you all!